Aug 13, 2015
Balance & Parent Involvement
Resisting the very real urge to defend your child’s honour and fight their battles for them can be one of the greatest challenges of modern parenting...
‘Fighting our own Battles’
I remember many years ago being in a play centre with my children and watching two sets of parents arguing after one child hit another child. Both sets of parents went into battle, defending their own child. Clearly the child who was hit was upset and this upset that child’s parents. The child who hit the other child was oblivious and went on playing and laughing. I would assume the children were about the age of two.
For me this begs the question of when do we let go of the reins and allow our children to sort out issues for themselves? Clearly there are times when parents intervening and raising concerns with the school, is essential.
Resisting the very real urge to defend your child’s honour and fight their battles for them can be one of the greatest challenges of modern parenting. Yet as parents, we must ask ourselves what life lesson this is giving to our children? If parents constantly step in, speak to other children, even phone or approach the parents of other children to ‘deal with unacceptable situations’, our children may begin to lack confidence to deal with situations themselves.
For a child to tell another child to ‘Stop’ or to say “I don’t appreciate what you’re doing/ saying’ is, I believe, a much more helpful approach. Rather than dealing with situations on behalf of our children, we should be arming them with the skills they need to effectively address their concerns, themselves.
After all, like it or not, our children will reach a point where we are not there for them and they will need to stand up for themselves, without someone doing it for them.
If your child finds themselves in a situation they can’t handle themselves, encourage them to approach Mrs Stelzer or Mrs McDonnell, who can assist them in dealing with the situation. Of course as parents, there are times where you need to approach the school directly yourselves, and some situations warrant immediate and urgent attention.
On the whole, our children will thank us in the future, if we allow them to work through the difficulties and challenges of being a child themselves.